If Opportunity Doesn't Knock, Build a Door

Hi ya'll! Taylor here! 

A little over a week ago I turned 26! Yikes! Like, I'm now closer to 30 than 20. And one thing I've found that gets harder and harder with age is making friends! However, I don't think we talk enough about subjects like this because we're afraid of looking like a loner!

I've moved to 3 different cities in the past 4 years so I've had plenty of practice with making new friends. And although it's challenging, there are numerous ways you can find good friends in your area! But sometimes if the opportunity doesn't present itself, you might just have to create it.

Last October, I decided to move from Tulsa, Oklahoma, to Dallas, Texas, on a whim. I didn't really feel as if Tulsa was home nor the place I wanted to plant my roots long term. So I thought before I'm married or have a family, it would be a good time to move to a city where there was lots of opportunity for me and a place I could settle down.  

The first few weeks of living in a new city and in your new home is exciting. It's also a little overwhelming. You're getting used to your surroundings, finding your new routine, learning your way around, and it keeps you preoccupied..for a little while!  After you're settled in and used to your new life, it kind of starts to get a little lonely. I went to church, a really large church, all by myself. I'd go grab coffee at all the cool spots but it was always alone. I don't mind doing things alone but after awhile, it starts to get a little boring. Also, Dallas is known for its GREAT food spots. There are so many cool places and atmospheres to enjoy lunch or coffee with friends. And Dallas is also known for BRUNCH!  (AKA a reason to get together with ALL your friends and eat the best food every weekend.) 

The Rustic is a very popular spot in Dallas! 
HG Sply Co. has a great rooftop patio!

After college, it's kind of a weird stage to meet new people and friends. Unless you meet them at your job, most people don't just walk up to you and start making conversation. I attend this young adult ministry at my church where 3,500+ people go to on Tuesday nights. However, I always went alone and left by myself.  I remember just 3 weeks ago after one of those nights, I called my mom telling her about how awesome the message was. However, I just really wished I had some friends that attended there because it's so much more fun with other people. I remember specifically praying that night that God would flood me with more friends that I even knew what to do with (I'll get back to this point in a minute!). 

The Porch At Watermark: A Young Adult Ministry

Like I mentioned before, I just had a birthday not too long ago.  A week before, I knew I probably wasn't going to see my family on my birthday. I also didn't really have any great friends at this point either. And I usually LOVE my birthday because it's always spent around the ones I cherish the most. This year I knew was going to be different, though. Obviously I didn't want to spend my birthday alone so I decided to try something. I made a post on social media! In summary, it said a couple things: 1) how hard it is to make friends in a new city 2) I didn't want to be alone on my birthday 3) if anyone wants to get together for brunch, I'm totally up for it! Then, I tagged the post in Dallas, TX so it could get exposure to people nearby.

I had SO many girls comment on the post in agreement with me on how hard it was to make friends at this age in such a big city!  And probably five or six girls messaged me saying they were totally up for meeting sometime soon.  

The same day I made this post, a Dallas fashion blogger, Dani Austin, launched a group on Facebook called the Sassy Club. She has a very large following so there were thousands in the group the first day!  In a nutshell, it's an online community of women that are there to support each other, and it's a safe place to be transparent with one another. Dani is also a Christian and is open about her faith which I think is so cool. So most of the girls that are in the group have a faith background, too. When she launched the group, everyone was saying where they were from. And I noticed there were SO many girls from Dallas in there. And one common thing they all said was they wanted more friends!! I was astonished that I wasn't the only one that felt like this--it was actually quite common. All these girls seemed so cool, and they lived in my same city! So, I took it upon myself to just create this little group called the 'Dallas Sassy Club' as a place for all of us to discuss a time we could meet up.  I thought MAYBE 10 girls would be interested in it. BUT 10 new friends to me was AWESOME!  

Dani Austin, Fashion Blogger in Dallas

Well 325 new friends later, I am glad I decided to create that group! I've had coffee on two separate occasions, brunch three times, celebrated my birthday three different times with them, and organized a brunch that had 30+ girls attend!  And you remember that young adults ministry I told you about? I have met up with 10 girls in the last two weeks there!  It's safe to say God answered my prayer and answered it the VERY next day! 

Girls I met up with at the Porch!

The moral of the story is sometimes you have to create the scenarios you're searching for. Often times God wants you to use your situations and circumstances to answer your own prayer. Rather than waiting for girls to come find me and hoping to make a new friend, I went out on a limb and did it myself.  And the times I've found the most people related to me was just when I was transparent. Swallowing my pride and just putting it out there that I was struggling, so many people are right there with you!  

Our first Dallas Sassy Club Meet-up!  30+ girls together for brunch at Backyard!    

 And if you find yourself to be in a similar situation, I encourage you to put yourself out there and invite some girls to get together!  Most of the time, they will want to.  We are just scared asking because we don't want to be rejected. And this rule doesn't just apply to friendships.  It really can help with anything in your life that you're pursuing. If the opportunity doesn't knock, build the door!


1 comment

  • Shelli Smith

    Taylor..I am so happy for you..looks like you have made alot of new friends..sometimes we have to step outside our comfort zone,reach out n make the first move..most of the Times it’s never as bad as we think it would be:)..fun times ahead with your new friends….fyi..I live in Parsons Kansas n shop at Libbys all the time:)

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