- 100+ Uses per 2 FL/OZ Bottle
- Proudly Made in the USA
Somewhere in the wilderness, there’s a gristly man harnessing the power of wood and steel to bring warmth and light to his world. He’s powerful, bearded and his sh*t doesn’t stink. While we hold no remedy for weak grips and smooth upper lips, Turdcules’ Log Splitter Toilet Elixir will shower your olfactory receptor neurons with the sweet aroma of leather, hard-work and coniferous trees.
- Smells like Tree Bark & Grit
- Really smells like Leather, Pine & Moss
In Ancient Greece, Sailors would call upon Poseidon to calm the seas and protect their ships and crews. Many a drunken sailor and cursed ship have met their demise by the wrath of the god of the sea. With Turdcules' Pooseidon Toilet Elixir, you'll reign over the porcelain ocean with the ferocity of an Olympian while the sweet smells of sunken wooden ships and tropical rum tantalize your nose-buds.
- Smells like Sunken Ships & Drunken Sailors
- Really smells like Teak Wood & Pirate Rum
Every morning, humans across the globe slip into their neoprene unitards and hit the waves in search of the most boisterously, bodacious bevy of barrels. They wait with the patience of the tide itself, but they dare not move. So how do they cope when nature is coaxing their cavern of soggy sea-snakes back to the wild? Simple. A savage Aqua Dump. With Turdcules’ Turdally Awesome Toilet Elixir, you’ll smell the exhilaration of catching the most wicked waves without the pressure of the impending tush-turtle invasion.
- Smells like Good Vibes & Wicked Waves
- Really smells like Satsuma, Mint & Cayenne Pepper
Centuries of research shows that you have a better chance of glimpsing the mighty Bigfoot himself than sniffing out a pile of his fresh, steamy butt nuggets. If you're wondering how our bearded-bodied bro's are crackin' off butt bazookas right under our noses, then look no further. Introducing Turdcules' Sasquat Toilet Elixir. Used by man, but made for a Living Legend.
- Turdcules Sasquat Toilet Elixir
- Smells like Camping & Living Legends
- Really smells like Evergreen Trees & Wild Berries
When it comes to delivering a destructively potent payload, we, men, remain steadfast to our doodie. We stand ready to detonate a calamitous cacophony which sleeps silently within the steel-belly of our floating fortress. With the push of a button, we summon rains of molten metal, fire, and water. With Turdcules’ Turdpedo Toilet Elixir, you’ll sit proudly at your battle station surrounded by the sweet smells of Sunburns and Victory.
- Smells like Sunburns & Victory
- Really smells like Gunpowder, Motor Oil, Grapefruit & Lime
There’s somethin’ special about the bond between a Grandfather and their grandchildren. From coffee to pipe tobacco, this dude’s musk had been expertly crafted from years of bad-assery. When he spoke; you listened as if he were ancient living history. With Turdcules’ There’s Somethin’ Brewing Toilet Elixir, you’ll travel back to simpler times when morning coffee, a morning smoke and morning movement were the best way to start the day.
- Smells like Wisdom & Grandpa's Stories
- Really smells like Coffee Beans & Pipe Tobacco
10 Gallon Shat:
- Smells Like Bonfires and Bad Decisions
- Really smells like Campire Embers & Smooth Whiskey